


Dutch Treat

by Missy



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: Dating, Episode Related, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26243962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: In the wake of Laverne's unpleasant date with a married man (and unplanned swim in a very large fish tank), Carmine offers to take her out to dinner to cheer her up.   It ends up taking them to some very unexpected places.
Relationships: Laverne DeFazio/Carmine Ragusa, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 3





	1. First Course

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shotzette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shotzette/gifts).



> Happy belated birthday, Shotzette!

“Hey Laverne. Still got goldfish in your shoe?”

Laverne snorted, turning from her mail slot to see Carmine standing there. “Hah hah, you’re a card,” she checked her mailbox and sighed as she pulled out another handful of bills. She paged through them with a sigh and then Carmine nudged her.

“Eh, I was just kidding,” he said. “You mad about it?”

She shrugged. “What’s to be mad about?” And Carmine wasn’t the source of her misery, anyway. She glanced over her shoulder at him and sighed. Honestly, there wasn’t anyone in the world like Carmine, something she was actually kind of grateful for. 

“So…how did the date go with Rick?” On the other hand…

“Eh,” she said. Which was short for ‘kinda mediocre.’ He was a nice guy, but no goosebumps, but at least he wasn’t married like the last one. “What about you?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I keep trying to pull fish out of the sea but they flop right off of my hook.” He’d been out with a few girls who weren’t Shirley lately, but he always ended up circling back to her eventually. Sometimes Laverne hoped they’d put a bullet in their relationship’s shambling head and put it out of its misery.

“Funny, Carmine,” she said, and tucked the mail in her fist.”

“Hey, that’s why they call me the Zany Ragoo! Wocka wocka!” she snorted at his terrible joke, as he likely knew she would. Some memories were better left unreplicated, and his stint as Burbank’s meanest comedian was one of them. 

They headed together into the apartment building proper, and before going upstairs he grabbed her arm. Tingles spread up her arm and gave her goosebumps, and she scowled at her traitor flesh. 

Carmine was not only embargoed goods, but he was her best friend’s steady – forbidden territory, and territory she knew was nonfunctional. Every time they spent too much time together, they fought, which would have been great for their proto sex life but awful for everything else. Though they’d always been great at talking turkey around one another, they had a way of pressing every single malfunctioning button in each other’s souls. They had fought the last time they’d tried anything approaching romance- and Shirley had understandably gone nuclear - so why should she assume anything better was going to happen? She shut out the voices and turned the key.

“Do you have anything better to do today?” Carmine asked suddenly.

“No, you?” 

“Nah. I was wondering if maybe we could…go out,” he said, hands in his pockets. “Shirley’s off with Walter and she’s gonna be busy all night. So why shouldn’t we have some fun?”

A reasonable question. 

She turned toward Carmine and shrugged. “Okay,” she said. “Just…don’t take me somewhere with a fish tank.”

“It’s a deal,” he smiled. And in spite of herself, Laverne smiled back. It would be a long time before she ever forgot the humiliation of falling face-first into that tank, but at least Carmine provided a pretty nice sop to her bruised ego.

As they headed out to wait for the bus, she wondered what the evening had in store for them. Probably another argument. The alternative was currently too scary to think about.


	2. Chapter 2

Carmine took her to Wong Foo’s of all places. Laverne shrugged and accepted a seat on the ornate red lacquered chair beside him and glanced at the plastic-covered menu as they settled in. 

“This is nice,” she said, not meaning to make the declaration so bland, but not quite knowing how to express the way it felt to sit there before him. 

“Isn’t it? And Shirl says it’s cheap!” She winced at this reference to her best friend. “Sorry,” he said. “I still had a coupon and I know you like their ribs.”

“I do,” she smiled at the fact that he’d remembered something about her. He smiled back at her awkwardly, and ordered them a flaming mai tai and a huge pu pu platter, with chow mein and fried rice to spare.

Interestingly enough, Laverne didn’t notice this time how often Carmine slurped away at his drink, or his tendency to grab at the bread. She let his news about his last audition pour over her, and then he listened as she talked about work, about her plans. She got a couple of laughs out of him when she talked about a woman who had identical twins, for whom she had wrapped identical presents. They soon managed to finish off all of the food, and then they split the bill.

“Dutch treat,” she said.

“Did you need me to pay?” he asked.

She shook her head. She hated being taken care of by her dates, and Carmine was smart enough not to pull that old-fashioned Italian macho crap on her. They exited into a steamy, rainy night, and the drizzle clung to Laverne’s skin as they marched together toward the bus stop.

Carmine hadn’t been able to completely shed his old-fashioned instincts, though. He pulled his jacket off and gave it to Laverne. She grinned and held it up over her head.

“So,” she said. “You’re really thinking of going for it, huh? Trying out for that big production of The Music Man in LA?”

“I’m no Robert Preston,” Carmine said. “But I think I can handle it.”

“Hey, you’re better than Robert Preston,” she told him, elbowing Carmine in the side.

“Keep saying nice things to me, it might get you somewhere.”

“Oh?” She teased. One eyebrow went up, and she wiggled her shoulders, a full on Shirley Shimmy.

He rolled his eyes and she laughed back. “Yeah. Somewhere.” He shifted on his heels.

Rain began to tap down upon their shoulders, their faces, as they leaned in for the kiss. It lasted a long, long time and was accompanied by bright blue flashes of lightning. Laverne let the feeling roll through her, let it rock her, before she let go of Carmine’s lips and gave him a stare.

“Sorry, I got carried…” he said.

Whatever else he wanted to say she silenced by kissing him firmly, right there in the rain.

And the lightning flashed and the thunder rumbled. Laverne knew she’d have to explain this to Shirley somehow. But right in the moment she didn’t care. 

She had found passion and admiration, and affection. 

Let the hellfire rain down afterward.


End file.
